Unconditional If and Then

Hi Aaliyah,

A Couple of days back your Dad and I had a huuuuuuge argument over something we agreed.  He grandly accused me that every minute of his stay in the house is monitored by me and that I micro manage his time, while I end up chilling out all the time.  This is so not true.  Your Dad has only two activities.  Sleep or be awake on the couch doing push ups on the TV remote.  I finally have resolved that I will not tell him anything ever again about what chores he needs to do and that I will hire help until he pays for it through the nose.  But I am not sure how long this resolution will last as I am bursting to fling my lungs at him for all the time pass that he is enjoying.

Last night, it was your dinner time and I was checking with you as to where would you like to sit and eat.  Would you like to sit in the Computer room and watch cartoons or TV room where you can watch your Chota Bheem. TV is a MUST in your diet as it helps you go into a trance and in timely and recurring opening of your mouth. :)

You wanted to take over the TV from your Daddy and I was all for it for obvious reasons and your Dad gave you some crappy reason that it was his 'homework' to watch TV and that his class teacher would scold him if he didn’t watch it. You were mighty disappointed and were scolding him as we walked into the computer room and shouted , YOU ARE A BAD BOY DADDY…it felt like music to my ears and naturally I started putting words into your mouth and you started repeating it loudly to your Dad.  I whispered ‘I am so upset daddy’ and you yelled ‘I AM SO UPSET DADDY’…’I am feeling very hurt’…’I AM FEELING VERY HURT’…’I don’t like you’…’I DON’T LIKE YOU’…’You always watch TV and never spend time with me’ …’YOU ALWAYS WATCH TV AND NEVER SPEND TIME WITH ME…’I want another Daddy’…I WANT ANOTHER DADDY’

Suddenly, your Dad muted the TV in that room and there was a little quiet.  Maybe you made him thoughtful.  I was wondering what sentence to say next...maybe he is a bad husband and that mamma needs a new husband.  You looked at me happily and said ‘THEN??’.  So innocently and eyes sparkling with excitement.  I hushed you but went on and one like, ‘what should I say mamma’.   We just burst out laughing and your Dad joined us too. :)

Aaliyah you are at such an impressionable age.  I love raising you and enjoy every minute of it. I know, it sounds clichéd. But its true. I don’t feel overwhelmed spending time with you at all.  You are so full of life and laugh and cry and be a part of all the pranks and crazy fun we have at home.  I hope I never become boring for you.

P.S : Marriage advice :  Pretend like you know nothing.  NOTHING. ASOLUTELY NOTHING !!  Thats what they mean by 'Love you in sickness and in health'

Daddy's Navy Blues!

Hi Aaliyah,

School reopens tomorrow and I have been busy locating your bag, books and more importantly the holiday homework.  I think its hereditary that we look for the Holiday homework just a few hours before the school re-opens.  I have had big time issues completing mine in my school days and your Aaji patti will have a lot of stories about it. There was this one time when I had a lot of 3 x 3 digit multiplication exercise which I very manipulatively erased a lot of digits like 8 and 7 and 9 to 1s and 0s.  You will discover soon why I did so.  Aaji patti was so disappointed with me that she shredded all the sheets and made me re-do it.  You are already asking for an ipad, wonder where this is all going.

You dad is helping you with all the assignments and trust me he is so patiently putting up with all your tantrums. For all you know he might me the one converting all numbers to 1s and 0s in future.  Have I ever told you how difficult it is to deal with your Dad on Sunday evenings.  He is a big mess.  He is a bigger mess especially when he has been on leave and has to return to work.  He needs to maximise a lot of time with family on the eve of such days. He is the biggest mess today and you read through why.

You were pretty cool in all this and generally announcing that you want to go to office first and then after that you will go to school.  That’s how it should be actually. 

So as he was packing your bags and complaining about the size of the bag and how heavy the 100 grams school diary is for you, he was appealing in between lines for getting you to bunk school.  He went on and on about how bad you are going to feel tomorrow and how heavy your heart must be as the summer vacation has ended for you.  He also slipped in his request for a Lab pup hoping that maybe I will agree to at least any one thing by chance!

One last time, your dad tried to get you to bunk school when I pointed out to him that it is he who has the blues and he is rubbing it on to you.  I told him to keep the ‘Bye’ very quick and not wave to you until the car is 'dot' to him.  Once again I could see the 'KAL NENJAKKARI’ look in his eyes. (Stone hearted)

He has spent the last 3 weeks with you and done such interesting activities with you, that he is going to miss all the fun.  He took you ice skating, cycling almost all days, generally drove you around and got you ice creams, taught you to play chess like carom, took you for a haircut and stood beside you like a bouncer as an implied warning to the stylist that ‘you are dead meat if the scissor even pokes my daughter’. Bouncers are guys you will spot at pubs and discs, which YOU may never because your Dad is never going to let you see the face of one.  Even if you manage to, he will have a talk with the DJ first.  Not to worry, I will sneak you down, if you promise to take me along. :P.

You are taking it really well Aaliyah.  No blues at all. :) My rockstar you will be.  I think its better for me to tell you to keep your ‘Bye’ quick with your dad else we are going to be spending a good amount on tissues.  Happy Schooling Aal!