Relocating to the South

No Aaliyah! Its not what you are thinking. Its the South Pole. Yeah! Antartica. Not sure if it will still be there when you read this but you can Google to see what it was. i.e if Google is still there. Anyways.

When you were 7 months old, Daddy, you and I drove down from Karwar to Goa. It was a 2 hour drive which your Dad successfully crawled in 5 hours. All because there was a Baby on Board. I am the one in the family with a bad back and your dad would check on YOU at every speed breaker and pot hole he managed to get in and out of. The same day cheeku and chaachu with Maji and Piya, and PG were at Goa but for a short while. Cheeku rushed to see you and show you off to Chaachu for about 20 minutes and rushed to take her train back.

Thats it! Right after that you Dad seemed very troubled in small installements and I knew that there was something about 'LIFE' that he was going to conclude.

On our drive back at a petrol station, we stopped to have some road side chai and your dad was looking for some organic stuff to feed you with. Then in a very philosophical tone he asked, will Aaliyah too come and visit us for 20 minutes and rush away. I could not believe he took 24 hours to frame that sentence. Usually the turnaround time is 10 seconds. Anyways! I said , 'Yes Kishore, she is going to be a very cute girl that boys may want to ask out and yes she will have a 'lot of friends with whom she will travel and its a little unrealistic to expect that your baby angel will go to Goa with YOU every year.

Long Pause.....

He looked at me and the exact expression was 'Even if my daughter didnt want to go this witch will push her away'

Then he says, I will move down south with her...and for a moment I thought he meant Kerala...and then he speaks the rest of the sentence..."to south pole...Antartica".

Thats yet again your daddy for you darling. All I have to say is, I am sorry :) manufacturing defect.

Your First ever Smile

Your dad was working with the forces and just as you were born, he was to leave for a year and half long sailing in the sea. Obviously it was heart breaking for me and you r dad as we both wanted to be with you together, especially when you had come after such a difficult time. You were born on 21st Jan and he had to leave on 24th Feb. With every passing day your dad's heart ached only more and more. You were getting cuter and cuter and he just couldn't imagine a life without you. He would wake for mid night feedings, try to wrap you, put you to bed, bathe you, take you for a stroll and every time you even spit up (which is very normal for babies), he would look at all of us like, 'What have you done to my baby'. You would always have this intense look on you face and he would keep asking when will she smile back at me.

The morning that he was leaving, I was very tearful and just as he drove away, suddenly I felt some sort of strength. I did not know where it came from coz all of the past one month I was just wondering how am I going to handle all by myself. I came back to my room and I was changing your diapers and there was a small bout of sadness that came over me and I looked at you. Believe me, you smiled back at me. That was your first smile ever. I called your dad immediately and told him what you did and I could hear him go silent at his end. I am sure he had tears in his eyes. That evening he has gone and begged and borrowed some internet connection from someone on the ship and when I was chatting with him on gtalk, this was the status message on his messenger ' a young pale beam of a crescent moon touched the edge of a vanishing autumn cloud, and there Aaliyah's smile was first born '

Till date and its four years now and its still the same status message.

Change in Agenda

Right through the nine months your dad and I never wanted to know if need to buy pink or blue baby clothes. All that we wanted was for someone fun to fit into them. Typically one of your grappies said its going to be a boy and your Cheeku always wished for a girl. I still remember one day when we were shopping and Cheeku saw some baby clothes and she just covered her face with one and smelled it and said, have a girl Nisha....pleaseee!!

Then came the day of your birth and as I was being wheeled into the theater, your dad briefly left his phone with me. I got a text from a doctor relative, who happened to have access to our scan reports, wishing Daddy congrats on the birth of a Son. I was like, what are the odds. I wait 9 months for the surprise and this is not how I wanted to know it. But I did not want to spoil the moment just because of that. After the usual byes and when everyone disappeared and I was left alone in the theater for like 10 seconds, I closed my eyes and wanted to thank God for letting me enjoy these wonderful months of being pampered by your Dad and all. Then these were the exact words in my head...'You know what! if there is just one girl left,keep her for me'.

I groggily opened my eyes an hour later and by then you were born and off to meet ur dad and grappies and Cheeku. I asked the doctor beside me, is the baby healthy? I could hear a sound from an old gramophone say in bass voice, 'heooothy fumma bebo... 'heooothy fumma bebo'...heathy femme babi....heathy feeml bubie and 10 more times and then I heard Healthy female baby.

I tossed my head from left to right to right to right to left and up and down to see where you were. My body felt hammered to the bed, but I could move my head so fast, I tried to get up and then passed out again and to date this has been the 'BEST CHANGE IN AGENDA'.

Our first team huddle

June 6, 2007...I was driving back home from an exam, there was something about that day that made me smile a lot..I am telling it was just coz my exam sucked.

Came home and generally chattinga way with your dad and then quietly decided to take a home pregnancy test. I was anxiously waiting for the result to show up and from the corner of my eye I almost saw the result..I ran out to your dad who was clueless and innocently watching some stock prices. I sat beside him very close like a kitten and he knew I had done something irreversible and not telling him from my silly look.

I told him to go the other room and get whats on the table. He went and I closed my eyes soooooooo tightly shut and when I opened my eyes, he was standing there with his eyes sooo wide open, holding out the kit in disbelief and smiling, and one hand out asking me for a hug. I stood up and we hugged. That was OUR..........Daddy, YOU and me hugging......our first team huddle. You changed our life forever..

That night it rained. There was lightning and thunder very loud..felt like a bollywood film..Your dad was fast asleep, I could not bat an eyelid that night thinking of you...I was wondering if you could hear the thunder then I realised what if you thought it was the sound of me burping :P...I remember putting a pillow over my stomach all night :)

Namesake

My dear Aaliyah,

I thought this blog will be my gift to you but then I realised... its a present to me. I am the one who loves to talk, read, tell people about you. So this is all about Aal, aal about what I got.

I remember the day your daddy and I were looking through baby names and when we started for girls, we both stopped at the very first name..Aaliyah..it sounded like music from the crib mobile always does. We couldn't go any further. Your dad looked at me and gave that lil boy smile and we looked no further. All through my pregnancy, though we never knew if it was a girl or boy, I always called you baby Aaliyah in my conversations with you when I was alone and could feel you move inside me :)

We love you more than anything in the world and you are 'Aal we got'

Love,

Mamma